The most dangerous thing I have ever done is ask for help. I thought I was losing my mind, quickly unraveling due to the panic that has set in while being in a pandemic so I FINALLY said the words aloud that I thought I would never speak, "I need help". Why I do that?
The person on the other end didn't think I responded correctly to the do you want to hurt yourself question and sent the muhfuckin' police to my house.
Yes the fuck they did...
I still can't believe it and I answered the question truthfully. No, I don't want to hurt myself but I don't care enough to want to keep going. That's the long drawn out way to say, "I'm tired, Bih". And they called the police.
I knew then that therapy ain't what I need. These jokers more dramatic than me! Now how you going to help me calling the police? If I didn't have anxiety before, thanks for giving it to me now. Last thing any black person want is the police at their door... Asking questions and shit. Shit blows my mind every time I think about it. 🤯
I'm trying to figure it out alone now and get balance back because the request for help just felt wrong. All I wanted to do is talk to someone who was NOT emotionally tied to me. I expected to get some feedback on how to move forward and stay in alignment during these times but no... They called the police. TF? 🤨
So now what? I don't know, but I do know I will work through it and maybe I can help someone else who has not had good experiences in reaching out for help when I get back in alignment. That's the joy of the struggle... right? To save another from all you've experienced one day. I will gladly accept these growing pains if they are not in vain. 💫
Comments
Post a Comment