SINcerely, Your Fat Friend

Slowly closing chapters that I never thought would or wanted to end.  

Finally accepting that we never were true friends.

I was genuine with mine, I only wanted you to see win... 

Yet something about my weight brings out the savage in you and wounds caused by disrespect take the longest to mend.

No love lost on my end though. 

I still wish you well and pray everything that you touch grows.

However, I need reciprocity in all my relationships and that is the goal for sure. 

The integrity that naturally grows in me is compromised every time you speak ill on my name behind my back & closed doors.

Thinking and you probably felt real sure that I will never know. 

But my heart is connected to everything I love so when you betrayed me?. My spirit's the first to know. 

My heart will take the longest to accept it though...

Mourning takes time to heal because it's not just reserved for the deceased. 

The grief of not giving love to the loved ones you wanted to pour into forever is a thief.

I really was on your team, Where is your love for me?

Never asked you for anything, just to truly fuck with me.

Acceptance is the key. 

The separation don't make me more free but it makes me more ME. 

I can't seem put my feelings for you before my morality. 

That trait used to be easily identified as integrity. 

But the lesson is the blessing and I'm grateful that you were the teacher.

When the message hits home, I hope you never give credit to the preacher.

We're just all down here being vessels because EVERYTHING works for OUR good. 

So as we grow apart and go on our separate paths I hope these prayers reach you and most importantly, understood.  

I pray your spirit knows that my intentions were always pure

I pray you always feel the respect I have for you and know that I couldn't have loved you more.

I pray the memory of how you could trust me will forever cross your mind,

I pray every time your are sad you feel my hugs and can laugh at those corny joke of mine. 

I pray you are blessed to connect with another soul that is as authentic as I am. 

I pray you honor that bond with all you have and realize it's a blessing to find a true friend.

I pray you reflect the light I see in you and cherish the time we've spent.

I pray you realize that although you disapproved of my size, every minute with me was heaven sent.

I pray you never again treat another person less than because they are not aesthetically appealing to you and your crew.

I hope your team will be exactly what you need on your journey, I pray they keep it as real as you.