Honestly, I have so much to do that I haven't been able to keep my mind still to write anything lately. Most times I keep my journaling for my journal, especially when my thoughts have no direction... I think the buzzword for this is "mind dumping". I just need to get it all out and MAYBE, just maybe, I can write something that is worth another person reading.
Then I thought, maybe, JUST MAYBE, mind dumping "is" something to read. I imagine that other writers go through this as well. I look around and see all that needs to be done like dusting, laundry, then remember bigger items like cleaning the bathroom and then I think, "Did I leave any dishes in the sink?" I go to check and before I know it, I have not only cleaned the kitchen but hours have passed and I have yet to write anything. Then here comes guilt!
Guilt makes the list grow longer of shit I "need" to do instead of writing.
I need to do inventory.
I need to workout.
I need to clean the carpet, clean out the garage, walk the dogs...
I need to do yard work.
I need to do EVERYTHING, and honestly? Everything that I need to do is exactly what I WANT to do but most of all, I want to write.
I need to do inventory.
I need to workout.
I need to clean the carpet, clean out the garage, walk the dogs...
I need to do yard work.
I need to do EVERYTHING, and honestly? Everything that I need to do is exactly what I WANT to do but most of all, I want to write.
The pressure of needing to do all those things feels like I am carrying a ton of expectations and my creativity does not come alive under pressure. I feel rushed, like time is moving but I am not moving forward with time. And the more I don't move forward, the list of things that I need to do & want to do is only growing longer.
So, what do I do? My advice to myself is just do something! Writing my thoughts that you are currently reading is me just doing something, just being honest, praying that this honesty frees me from the guilt and just propels me forward to completing my ever growing "to do" list which includes writing.
Guess what? My 10:00 AM alarm just went off and it seems that while I am feeling off track, I am actually right on time and I have written something. Not what I had hoped to write but I hope it is what I needed to write.
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