I normally attempt to stay out of popular people's business but this subject matter is part of my life. I believe I started gaining weight around 5 or 6. It was the cute chubby kind though, the kind where grown-ups still pinched my cheeks and squealed at how stinking cute I was with long pigtails and chunky cheeks that fluffed up so much when I smiled you could barely see my eyes.
But around 8?
That cute shit was out the window. I was too big, my age and weight, and that was no longer cute to adults. Kids still were treating me like I was a normal child, but adults though?!
I was side-eyed, commented on, received suggestions on how to remedy this problem, and assumed to have ailments like a fucked up thyroid... Adults messed up my confidence.
What could have been a moment in life where I was taught to do better, once adults believed I aged out of the cute stage of being fat... Instead of TEACHING me, a child; someone who is not in control of their own decisions yet... Instead of altering THEIR adult life to HELP me fit what THEY believe my appearance should be? they blamed me for how I looked! They blamed me! A child! for being overweight. The fuck?!
That is a heavy weight to carry as a 12-year-old. Even though people were rude to me at 8, they were completely disrespectful by the time I was 12.
By 12 I was so broken and ashamed of my appearance that I did not play anymore. I didn't jump double-dutch, I didn't ride my bike with friends, I didn't skate, I didn't run, I didn't jump, I didn't climb, and I hated being seen. I hated how some people looked at me so I learned to stay still. By the time I turned 13 and off to middle school, I was severely depressed. However, this is also the age when I learned how to hide it well. If you make people feel good, they will never notice that you feel bad.
I really learned that at 13 years old.
Wow! Right? Crazy but I am sure someone, at least one person has been here. Is there.
Anyway, fast forward to today, and I'm reading the opinion of Candace Owens. I really sat and thought about what she is stating.
I looked at it from my overweight adult point of view, my overweight child point of view, my consistent need to aspire to weigh less, my I don't twerk or show my body/conservative woman point of view... I thought about this in so many ways and each time I come back to, this bitch needs to mind her business.
Just as simple as that.
If you don't like it, keep scrolling.
You don't want to see it in the street, keep walking.
Close your fucking eyes. It is literally that simple.
See, while many would like to police women like Lizzo, she is needed because there is an 8-year-old girl somewhere being torn down for storing more fat on her body than other little girls. And this "tearing down" is NOT coming from other children, it is coming from ADULTS.
We can argue all day about the health of a woman who SINGS & DANCES for a couple of hours LIVE! If I had Lizzo at 8 years old I would not have been severely depressed by 13; I would not have slit my wrists at 14; and I definitely would not have allowed the judgments of others about the way I look, make me so insecure that I would still be working on loving myself as is, now as an adult.
What we all need to accept is just because we are all human, does not mean that we are all the same. We come in different sizes, shapes, colors, and backgrounds.
We are no different than animals.
Animals are a melting pot just like humans. The bird is ok with the frog being a frog and it does not make them less of an animal to just let one another be a bird or a frog.
The problem with us is that we want everyone to be a bird but I am a lion and Lizzo might be a Peacock. Does that make either of us less than one another, because we are different?
But it is important to accept that I am everything and nothing. I have the ability to change into whatever I want to be. I have the FREEDOM to be who I am, no matter what size, shape, or form I currently am. I can change or I can stay the same.
Had I not been able to experience Lizzo, I would not understand that I can be whatever I want to be, the goal is to love myself the entire way through it.
Because of the energy she puts into the world, for the first time EVER I am losing weight from a place of love for my body and how it has gotten me this far. Because of Lizzo, when I exercise it's not because I am ashamed of myself, it is because I want to be active, flexible and strong. Because of Lizzo, and women like her, no matter how I look on the outside I understand the importance of being open to all human experiences is the key to living in a kind world.
With that said, I hope we all learn to be kind to ourselves. I hope we learn to love ourselves and honor who you are right now. If you want to change, change! It is really that simple, just LOVE YOURSELF through your entire journey. Your cup will run over with goodness, and it is our duty to serve that goodness to others.
Be that. Be kind.
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