The First Friday of May 2024...

Happy Friday!

Immediately after I say, "Happy Friday!" I feel some kind of way.
Like, I am excited about the end of the week but never anticipating the beginning which makes me think about loving what I do.  If I REALLY loved what I did for a living, wouldn't I anticipate doing it on Monday?  Wouldn't I want to do it on a Sunday?  Would I be so happy that Friday is upon me and when the clock strikes quitting time, I can get back to my "real" life?
Makes me wonder if I am really happy.

Yes, I am.

What I understand about myself is this; I am finding my way.  
I have not arrived at my final destination and in the meantime, I want to contribute to my lifestyle.  
I want to be a part of the foundation that I need for myself and if leveraging skills that I have picked up over time will help contribute to my rest in my elder years, then this is what I must do at this current time.  

Do I LOVE what I do?  No.
Do I have moments of enjoyment?  Yes.
Is this what I will do forever?  

No.

What I love to do is write and even when I am not posting I am writing.  I write during my day job, I write when I clock out, I write when I wake up, I write before bed, I write just to get my thoughts out, I write short stories, I write just to know I'm alive... (I hear that Goo Goo Dolls song playing in my head)

I would not describe myself as a writer, the same way I love to dance but I am not a dancer.  It's just me, it is what I have had to do since I was a child to center myself and for many years I never noticed my need to put words on paper.  I never made the connection of how holding a pen and placing it on paper would quiet all my anxieties and bring me absolute peace.

When I write, I know I'm alive.

What makes you come alive? 
Do that, even if you don't get paid for it, just do it.


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