I love me.
I really love myself and while I should be writing this and feeling proud, I'm sitting here crying like a baby.
Not because I don't believe I love myself; I really fuck with myself. I'm crying because I let how other people see me, interfere with how I viewed myself.
I allowed society standards set the standards of how I speak about myself.
I've been ashamed to say I love myself because I didn't want to imply I think I am perfect the way I am. Or that I didn't have things I wanted to change about myself.
I have a long list of things that I would change about my imagery. I know what size, shape, skin texture, hair... I know everything I would change to make myself visually appealing to whomever but then there is me.
All flawed and imperfectly made and some things I have the power to change; and I will. Then there are the things that I was just born with, things that could be changed with surgery...
Nonetheless, I love me. I love me in the present, in this flesh, with this skin, with this head full of hair, I love the fat that I will lose (when I feel like it), I love what carrying it has taught me. I don't think I would love myself as much had I not experienced so much in this body.
I know now more than ever that there are not many people that love themselves entirely. I do.
I'm not ashamed to say or show it anymore. I think I will look better to people as I grow more comfortable with displaying the love I have for myself. I look at myself and I smile. I only think bad thoughts when I use the world's lenses to see. I forgive myself for that and just want to give myself the opportunity to truly shine.
I believe in myself.
I encourage myself, I have respect for myself, I want to spoil myself... I deserve me. I deserve to be good to myself, to set the standard for myself...
I pray we all have the courage to love ourselves unconditionally.
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