We were children until we weren't. I was wondering about that this morning.
When did I stop being a child?
Not in the sense of age but when did I lose the childlike wonder? When did I realize that all the superficial things that I never had to worry about were now coming into play?
When did it click that nobody would say, "She's just a child." when defending me or my behavior?
What triggered the knowledge that I was no longer a child?
I honestly can't pinpoint it...
I know what I know though, and I now know that no matter how deep you bury those childlike wonders; they will always reappear when you are in a space to thrive. When in survival mode it is hard to tap into passion and purpose because all the things that make life bearable are in a compromising space when you are operating off of survival.
So, while I cannot recall when I lost childlike wonder I feel confident in knowing that it has returned.
I feel good about the space I am in. The only thing I am growing concerned about is the time I have left to wander off into childlike wonder. Being sure that the things I wanted as a little girl I can now work on in peace, not in pieces is comforting. With knowledge and the understanding that things may not run smoothly. Life experiences have provided me with the tools to not only survive but thrive while doing so.
I can't control the time. Everything is uncertain until it comes to fruition so, my conclusion is this: Each minute I get to make decisions that will provide me with a better outcome should I see the next minute, hour, day, week, month, year, decade, and so on, I will make with faith that I am being properly guided.
Now that I am an adult, I have the opportunity to not only nurture my inner child but I can apply all the knowledge I have obtained thus far to help her develop in all the ways she imagined before I was disconnected from internal whispers that guided that innocent wonder.
As an adult, I feel confident to wander in complete surrender to the journey with childlike wonder.
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