Sweet 16

Artist Unknown

It seems as though my major life lessons come every 16 years.

I was 16 years old when I had my first awakening. The first time something clicked on inside me and screamed, wake up.

16 when I felt my first life lesson.

16 when I took responsibility that whatever I did or didn't want to happen, happened because I did not speak up for myself.

16 when I had to admit that I wasn't sure what I wanted to happen because it was not enough time for me to decide. 

16 when I had my first long talk with myself about knowing what I wanted and no longer putting anyone in the driver's seat of my life. 

I was 16 when I decided that my parents could give me advice but they were no longer my decision-makers. 

I was 16 when I learned that only I had to live with the consequences pertaining to me, even if I didn't make a decision. That my life? This life was mine. 

All the tears and pain were mine alone and nobody could feel it for me. Happiness had to be the same...

I was 16 years young when I accepted responsibility for myself, my decisions, and how I would handle the consequences of those decisions. 

I was 32 when I experienced real heartbreak. The kind that makes your knees buckle and make you sick; mentally and physically. 

I was 32 when I sat with myself and tortured my mind with when, how, and why. 

Mostly, why?

I was 32 when I needed God more than ever because I was on the verge of losing my faith in humans.

32 when I thought about 16-year-old me and thought this lesson couldn't compare... I was 32 when I was faced again with yet another opportunity to choose but all I could do was cry.

I was 32 when I was broken. 

I was 32 years old when I realized, I was still 16 years young in many areas of my life. 

Those life-changing decisions, heartbreaking decisions,  and consequential decisions, all important decisions made me freeze. I wanted - no, I needed time to think in situations that didn't award me time.

I was 32 when I decided that there was no wrong decision if I made the best decision for myself. That the fruit that came from my labor of making the best decisions for myself would be a blessing no matter the lesson. 

I was 32 when I decided that this time,  I had time to think. I can take my time and decide what decision will be the next best decision for my future self.

I was 32 when I accepted that I was raising the woman I wanted to be in the future.  

I was 32 when I understood that I was created by the ultimate Creator and my one assignment is me. With each day that I am blessed, the goal is to follow the path that will allow me to thrive. The Creator will provide me with the lessons, good or bad, that will shape me into the person I am called to be. I can't avoid the lessons. However,  every single day that I am blessed with I am called to bless myself with the freedom to choose.

I was 32 when it clicked that following what brings me peace, and joy, what inspires kindness and service; that's the direction I should be going in. That's the path. The highs and lows are bearable when you know you are following your heart.

I was 32 when I understood true l❤️ve.

I was 32 when I made 16-year-old me proud for deciding to not make a decision at the moment. This time, I had time to take all the time I needed. Time to grow, time to do the work.

I was 32... 🥰

What will I do when I turn 48? 🤔 

What will I decide when I arrive at 48?  

If I am blessed to see it, I look forward to updating you. 😉