I wanna be AI

AI Artist Unknown

While reflecting today, dissecting my disgust for group activities in general but, I have a special disdain for office activities... I've decided that I want to be AI.

What an opportunity technology has to just DO THE WORK!  Dafuq?!  Why I can't just do the work?  I don't want to have "Facetime" with the team.  Is the team doing their work?!  Does the team have any knowledge to share?  If so, write it up or do a short pre-recorded presentation about it so we can use it for reference material at a later date but by no means invite me to spend the time I have been avoiding to spend with others, to spend with people that need to be WORKING!

If I want to make friends and spend time with people, I can do that on my own time but during work hours, I want to work.  I do not appreciate any social components of getting the work done.  Business is business and let's connect on a professional level.  How you are in your personal life will not help me meet the next deadline but you know what will?  DOING YOUR JOB!  Geesh, it is exhausting.

I wish I was AI well before there was an AI.  I believe I have always felt disconnected in social settings.  School always felt unnatural.  Just teach me and let me go home and work on perfecting the skills you taught me.  Why do we have to have recess?  If you teach me and then let me go, I can do my physical activities in an UNSTRUCTURED ENVIRONMENT!  Dafaq?!

I am sure someone who loves social connectedness will have very fancy words to explain how we need this but, what about those that would love to opt out and just get the work done?  Enthusiastically, gratefully, and honored to do so but not in a group setting.  Please stop.  

Corporate America, I am not begging you however, could you please stop.  Teams can be a team virtually.  If people were not capable of having meaningful connections online then catfishing would not be a thing.  We can still be human and connect without being in one another's face.  Dafaq?!

And for those of you that NEED to do all the office networking, do it.  I encourage & support it - just leave the loners out of it.  We love that for you so love solitude for us.  But until this becomes the next trend...
Is there anyone hiring that would like to have an offsite team player who can be personable without being in person?  

Are there any companies looking for someone who can provide direct assistance to the public, no matter where they are located in the country, and walk them through online experiences with an actual human?  English speaking only but willing to learn additional languages.

FULLY REMOTE!  The only time you need to see my face is if we have a meeting scheduled... Are there any companies that just want the work done?  

I was created for THIS position.  

Watch they hire AI to do what I do now and not even take into consideration that I was offering to be that all along.  The fuck?!